


Object of Deprecation

by Retroseptic



Category: Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: here's some sweet Dwight Discourse for you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 08:23:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14374782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Retroseptic/pseuds/Retroseptic





	Object of Deprecation

“Are you okay?”

Jake’s words cut through the thick silence like a rusty blade, jagged and harsh and all too abrupt. When Dwight turns and looks up at him, his gaze is both quizzical and skeptical.

“Yeah. Why?”

Jake clears his throat and gestures vaguely beside him, and Dwight gives a short nod in approval so he may sit beside him. Jake is careful to leave room between their crossed knees and he rubs his elbow uncertainly.

“Well, uh... “

His words fail him and he winces. He lifts his eyes to the sky, the corner of his lip tugging with his discomfort.

“You took a hell of a hit back there,” he says finally, leaning back some. “Just wanted to make sure you were feeling alright.”

“I’m fine.” Dwight blinks now, more confusion in his words. “Did you really leave the group just to ask that? A lot of people got hurt back there. It wasn’t just me, you know.”

“I know that.” Jake sputters hastily, shoulders locking in tense defense. “I’m not stupid.”

“Didn’t say you were. Just wondering why you chose me.”

Jake sighs and scrapes his nails through his hair, the tips of his fingers catching at tiny knots. “I worry about you, okay? Fuck, sue me.”

Dwight falls quiet for a heartbeat. “Why?”

Jake almost regrets abandoning the warmth of the campfire for the awkward and stone-cold conversation he decided to drag out.

“You gonna make me say it aloud?” Jake groans, “I care about your safety, Dwight, for Christ’s sake. You’re important to me, got it?”

For the shortest possible moment, for just a mere millisecond, an entirely new and unexpected glow appears across Dwight’s features. His eyes widen, those lashes fluttering, and his lips part ever so slightly as the faintest color whisper across the high of his cheekbones.

But as quickly as the light appeared, it disappears without a trace. Dwight’s eyes narrow and his brow cinches, his mouth pressing hard into a firm line.

“Nice,” He laughed out then, short and haughty and backed up with something so suppressed that even Jake couldn’t translate it. “Almost had me there.”

Jake is taken aback. He stares openly, a little stricken, a little shocked. “I-”

“Listen.” Dwight says in an unfamiliar and flat voice. “I know what you’re thinking. I know what you’re doing - what you think you’re _trying_ to do.”

“I’m not- what? I’m not trying anything-”

“You are.” Dwight chuckles then, so dry and empty. “Maybe you don’t realize it, but I’ve seen it more than enough to recognize it by now.”

Jake is mortified. His mouth hangs open in his sickened surprise, his heart twisting in his chest. “I don’t understand.”

“Then I’ll help you to.” Dwight says simply as a sad smile curls his lips. “You think you’re the first person to try and do this? You see some skinny guy, not the strongest-looking person, not incredibly brave, not exactly overwhelmingly...” He extends his arms out, “ _Anything.”_

“Hey wait, you’re-”

“Stop. You see some kid like me, right, and decide, ‘you know what? I’m going to take care of him because very clearly, he needs it. This right here is a guy who can’t hold his own, so I’m going to disguise my intent to make him feel safe and happy as my own use to feel powerful and useful.”

“Dwight,” Jake snaps, glaring daggers. “ _Shut up_ . That’s not what I mean and you know it.” 

“I know you came over here to  _comfort_ me.” Dwight continues calmly, as though Jake hadn’t just raised his voice directly at him. “Or whatever you wanted to do. I know you saw the way I fucked up that generator and got myself killed during the last trial. You didn’t come over here because I got hurt. You came over here so you could take pity on me.”

Jake is frozen. He wants to yell at him, to scream, to grab him by his scrawny shoulders and punch some sense into him. But he can’t move a single muscle.

“I don’t know why all of you keep assuming I’m some useless kid.” Dwight’s voice raises now, volume swelling as a flash of fury crosses his eyes. “Why? Is it because I’m skinny? Because you think I’m, what, small? Maybe your ego has made you feel a few inches taller, but news flash: we’re the same size! What, is it ‘cause I get a little panicked from time to time? Let me guess, you think it’s _cute_ when I bite my nails. Well, it’s not - it’s gross and I hate that I do it! Think I’m a timid little puppy that’ll follow anyone who shows me a single scrap of attention? I’m a human being, Jake, I don’t need pity or coddling or fake affection - not from you, not from anyone."

“Dwight,” Jake tries again, weakly this time, voice broken in half. “You’re… you’re overreacting. You know that’s not what I mean-”

“This is underreacting.” Dwight cuts him off curtly. “Imagine living your whole life being underestimated and objectified and crammed into a convenient mold so that you can suit the needs of others. You’re pretty lucky, Jake. You had the chance to be something, to be someone powerful and incredible and respected. I never had that chance. That was never something I could be.”

“I’m sorry.” Jake whispers hoarsely.

“I’m not a plaything.” Dwight states, his words tired and dull. “I’m not for your convenience. I make mistakes, yes, and sometimes I get scared because - for god’s sake, who wouldn’t be? We’re in the middle of nowhere. Our friends don’t know why we’ve disappeared, our families are worried sick. Our lives are built on nothing but terror and whatever trust we can salvage. We’re all scared out here. We’re terrified - and maybe I show it a little more, but that doesn’t make me anything less. It doesn’t make me someone who can’t be as quick or as brave or as helpful as the next person.”

“I know,” Jake mumbles quietly, his head bowing. “I’m sorry. I never really… I never thought that-...”

“You were thinking of you.” Dwight offers him, a sad but gentle smile on his face. “And you forgot to think about me. It’s okay. I forgive you. This isn’t the first time this has happened and it won’t be the last. I can’t blame you for the judgments you make. I just wish…”

Dwight sighs with a shake of his head. “I just wish someone would see _me_ for once. I think it’d be a nice change.”

“I never meant for you to feel this way.” Jake tries weakly, and his words are flimsy to even his own ears. “I didn’t think- I _wasn’t_ thinking.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it.” Dwight props a knee up and rests his elbow upon it. “... just go back to the others, alright? I’m going to bed.”

His tone leaves no room for argument. His voice was filled to the brim with solid and complete exhaustion. Jake obeys him and rises to his feet, his throat tight and his stomach sick.

“I need you to know that-” Jake swallows hard. “T-that’s not what I want from you, Dwight. That’s not me.”

There’s nothing but bittersweet sadness in his voice when Dwight says, “Prove it.”

Jake can’t help but falter. “How?”

“I don’t know.” Dwight closes his eyes. “... Make me feel something no one else has been able to. Make me feel special. Make me feel,” His eyes open again slowly, his gaze muted and cast downwards. “… alive.”

Jake nods slowly, so slowly. He takes a few moments before looking to him. “I will. I promise.”

Dwight’s smile is small. “Go to fire, Jake. And stop thinking about me. You’ve got better things to occupy your time with.”

“That’s not true.” Jake mumbles as he turns, his hands slipping into his pockets. “I promise I’ll find a way. You’re more than that, and I’ll make sure you know it.”

Dwight watches Jake as he turns around, head low and his eyes unmoving from the ground. He chuckles softly to himself, giving a small shake of his head.

“I look forward to it.”


End file.
